Heart

My heart has been aching for something different.  My heart knows what I want to do, but my head is telling me that I can't.  That I shouldn't do it, yet.  So I am constantly fighting a battle.  I love parts of my day job, but there are a lot of parts that I hate.  Like bitter hate.  Unfortunately, the hates are starting to wear me down.  My blood pressure is going up because of the stress.  It is a battle that I don't think I am winning and it scares me, a lot.  I have a break from work in two weeks, so I will see if it makes a difference in my health and if it does - then I think the decision has been made for me.  I will be home this break, instead of Hawaii - so I should be able to tell.